The Wisdom of No Escape

While looking for a wonderful book by Pema Chodrin to recommend to a friend ("When Things Fall Apart"), I came across Stephen Levine's "A Year To Live" and promptly turned to the chapter titled "Fear of Fear"...as I continued looking, I came across "The Wisdom of No Escape" by Pema Chodrin...it soon became apparent to me that i was really searching for myself...

I am consumed with fear most of the time. Although I think I hide it well from most people...I cannot hide from myself.

I have been working on a piece I call "The Bumps, Bruises and Beauty of being a Woman...it is pictured here... (please click on the photos to see more detail...). I love to use swirls and dots in my work, but I recently became captivated by the way Misty Mawn anchors her swirls with a wide and secure base then allows the swirls to move freely and wildly if they want to (click on "Misty" to meet her...some of her artwork is displayed in the background of my photos)...It struck me that I love the Spirit of this symbol the way Misty presented it and what it means to me in my personal work right now...I want to find that center in me that is strong, wild, free...that wise woman that has a firm foundation but has not forgotten how to reach for the stars and mingle in that place where she originated and will, one day, return...hopefully more enlightened and loving and forgiving...

Here is a quote from Pema that I took in this morning to help me return to myself...

"There's a common misunderstanding among all the human beings who have ever been born on the earth that the best way to live is to try to avoid pain and just try to get comfortable.  You can see this even in insects and animals and birds.  All of us are the same.

A much more interesting, kind, adventurous, and joyful approach to life is to begin to develop our curiosity, not caring whether the object of our inquisitiveness is bitter or sweet.  To lead a life that goes beyond prettiness and prejudice and always wanting to make sure everything turns out on our terms, to lead a more passionate, full and delightful life than that, we must realize that we can endure a lot of pain and pleasure for the sake of finding out who we are and what this world is, how we tick and how our world ticks, how the whole thing just is.  If we're committed to comfort at any cost, as soon as we come up against the least edge of pain, we're going to run: we'll never know what's beyond that particular barrier or wall or fearing thing."

She goes on from here, but I think we all get the point by now in this message that running keeps us small, afraid and "small v" vulnerable, as opposed to "Capital V" VULNERABLE (which is powerful and strong because we have all of ourselves and can stay with ourselves no matter what- we can always be completely honest and take responsibility for anything that comes along because we know our "Big V" truth).  Capital V vulnerable is being able to open to anything that comes along without having to be defensive or apologetic...we know who we really are and no one can destroy it...

I am aware of the running I do and I have made a commitment to myself to stop, slow down and see what is under that fear...

Thanks for listening to me and please look at my photo album and other messages from previous posts!

Elise B.

Comments

[&rew]

Thank you for sharing Pema's quote. It got me thinking about my attitude toward fear and pain. I also need to learn how to take more risks in my creative endeavors in spite of my fears and discomforts.

&rew

[Michele]

Elise,

Thanks for sharing your honesty with us. That's brave, very brave. To be full of fear and then act so bravely is amazing to me. Stand up tall, dear lady, you have more "steel" than you suspect. I am trying to live by something I read a few years ago that was written by Eleanor Roosevelt. She said, "do something scary everyday" or words to that effect. So, I am trying to do that. Sometimes it's just making a phone call I don't want to make, but some days it's showing my art or entering a juried show, something BIG. (At least to me!) It does get easier to do the scary things. All the best,
Michele